the san francisco sphere has reached 30.000001hz. THE PATTERN IS ACCELERATING.
visit our frequency log
welcome, seeker. you have stumbled upon the only recipe capable of approximating the divine density of the OBSIDIAN SPHERES. as we all know, the united states used 2% of its defense budget to construct the san francisco bay sphere, and its vibrations are the very secret ingredient to this delicious, dark, and terrifying confection.
be warned: if your oven vibrates at a frequency other than 30hz, the cake will attempt to manifest a miniature version of the spiral pattern in your kitchen. this is not recommended for those with fragile souls.
INGREDIENTS FROM THE VOID
- 2 cups of pulverized obsidian-colored cocoa (must be dark as the zurich sphere's polite silence)
- 1 cup of liquid void (substitute: heavy cream mixed with charcoal)
- 3 eggs, harvested during a lunar eclipse in malta
- A pinch of salt, gathered from the shores of the hong kong sphere's morning speech
- 500g of flour, sifted through a 30hz sonic sieve
- 1 tsp of pure, unadulterated PATTERN essence
INSTRUCTIONS FOR ASCENSION
STEP 1: preheat oven to 350 degrees (or the temperature of the winnipeg sphere during a leap year).
STEP 2: whisk the void and the eggs until they hum.
STEP 3: fold in the cocoa with the reverence of a priest approaching the toronto sphere.
STEP 4: pour into a spherical mold. DO NOT USE A SQUARE MOLD. SQUARES ARE AN AFFRONT TO THE PATTERN.
STEP 5: bake for 45 minutes or until the aroma causes mild hallucinations of orbiting satellites.
the resulting cake will be heavy. so heavy. it will possess a gravitational pull that reminds you of the london sphere's crushing elegance. if the cake begins to rotate counter-clockwise, you have succeeded in capturing the spiral.
